Sexual Purity

Last night in our small group we discussed the topic of Sexual Purity. Among other things, we were asked how we would define that.

My definition drew the picture of me working to build up walls around me and Rachel, and often times the 'battle for sexual purity' feels like I am constantly running from one 'wall' to the next shoring them up against the attack raging on the other side. For some reason after I explained this, I felt like that the definition I gave just wasn't enough. Like it somehow only answered half the question.

One of the other guys present gave a definition of, "Sexual Purity is anything that fosters my and my wife's sexual relationship. Sexual Impurity is anything that hinders our sexual relationship." This sounded to me to be a much better definition.

My problem is that I might be tempted to use this definition as a way to rationalize my improper behavior. While on the surface this doesn't seem like it makes any sense, our minds will often accept a number of irrational ideas as rational to suit its needs or desires. So I started thinking more about the definition I gave, and trying to understand how I might be able to expand on it to better answer the question.

I think I do need to be building walls to protect my relationship with Rachel, but my tendency is to become legalistic about these and forget that there's a battle raging on the inside as well. I think Sexual (Im)purity is more of an internal heart issue than it is an external behavioral issue. While I run from wall to wall fixing the little cracks that form, it's very easy to get tired. And when I get tired, I can't keep fixing those cracks, and they have a greater chance of falling.

It's very easy for me to forget that I'm not fighting this battle alone. God is in there with me. He has set me free from sin, and He is fighting that battle alongside me. Rachel is in there with me. And while she may get hurt if those walls fall, it is much easier to fix those cracks with her help. It also helps a lot to relate to others who are fighting this same battle - other Godly men who are also battered and bruised from this vicious fight. But this starts with me being open enough to ask for help (see prev blogpost). In the end, I need to constantly remind myself of what Solomon, in his wisdom, knew, "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken"