Early morning hike

4:15AM - My alarm went off. I hit snooze once, then roll out of bed when it goes off again. In my drowsiness, I get dressed, make a sandwich for lunch, grab my bags, and head out the door. I marvel that all the lights are green for me as I drive to my office building.

4:47AM - I get to the office and am disappointed that I was the only car in the parking lot. Neither Ron nor Chris, the two guys who were going to hike with me, are there yet. I take my laptop into the office and leave it there for safekeeping. I climb back in my car and try not to fall asleep.

4:57AM - My phone rings. It's one of the guys, Chris, calling to say he overslept and wouldn't be joining us. After hanging up with him I call the other guy, Ron, to see if he was on his way. He confirms it and pulls in next to me minutes later. I jump in the car with him and we drive off, both of us commenting on how great coffee would be just then.

5:22AM - We turn on our headlamps and start up the trail. Ron leads at first but after a few minutes lets me pass. Because of my long legs and our needing to train for a long hike next month, I set a very quick pace and we fly up the trail. My eyes don't leave the little circle of light on the trail so I won't trip over anything, but we occasionally look over our shoulders and see the lights of Colorado Springs glimmering below us. It is beautiful, but we don't have time to stop. We have to keep moving. Soon it becomes light enough to turn off our lamps. My eyes play tricks on me with the rocks but we maintain our quick pace.

6:00AM - We reach the summit, and take a moment to catch our breaths. Ron tells me that this was the fastest he's ever gone on this trail. Normally it takes him more than an hour to come this far, and it's only been 38 minutes. The sun hasn't made it above the horizon yet, but it's getting close. My eyes go back to the trail and we continue our rapid pace, grateful that it the next four miles are all down hill.

6:15AM - I look to my left and see the sun. It is an amazing sunrise, and we take a few moments to absorb the beauty of it. I snap a quick picture, and it's back to the trail again.

We aren't breathing nearly as hard since we're going downhill so we talk about a wide variety of topics: our spouses, refinancing, camping, hiking, and saving for vacations to name a few. The day is getting brighter and brighter, and we pause to let a runner pass us. As we get closer to end of the trail, we are amazed at how quickly we hiked it. We talk of how we could do it faster and what sort of time-goal to set for the next time. Thirty minutes to the top and an hour back down sound about right.

7:08AM - We arrive back at the car. We had just traversed 5.3 miles in an hour and forty-five minutes. We went thirty minutes faster than we had expected, so we decide to stop at Starbucks to get our coffee before going to work. All I can think about is, "Let's do that again!"

Christians and Conservatives

I know it’s been a couple of weeks since the whole eat-at-Chick-Fil-A-to-show-you-support-them thing, which for a lot of people was really an eat-at-Chick-Fil-A-to-show-you’re-anti-gay thing. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the whole ‘gay’ situation in America, and a couple of things bother me:

1) Conservatives who blame their view on what the Bible says
2) Christians who react to current events out of their Conservative perspective.


Hear me out – ‘Christian’ does NOT equal ‘Conservative,’ and ‘Conservative'  does NOT equal ‘Christian.' They will often times go hand in hand, but they are not synonymous, and it's foolish to act like they are. Doing so will ultimately give Christianity a bad name and hinder the Gospel.

As a Conservative, you would probably vote against gay marriages (or any other gay agenda), but don't say it's because the Bible told you so. The Bible also speaks against drunkenness, substance abuse, sex outside of marriage, the sanctity of life, fiscal responsibility, caring for the poor, orphans, and widows, and a host of other things. But some of these topics have become social 'norm' so most Conservatives don't speak up about them nor do they seem to even care about them. Conservatism is a political view and will only rise up when there is a political issue at stake. The problem is that most people confuse a political issue with a moral issue. Conservatives need to think about the political issues with the perspective of "What are the costs/benefits of this issue for the USA?" and not "Is this issue right or wrong?"

Christianity, not Conservatism, deals with moral issues. Is gay marriage right? Is abortion wrong? Would it be right to legalize marijuana? and does it matter whether it is right or wrong? It may be true that the USA was founded on Christian principles, but we are far from being a Christian nation, so let's not pretend we are. Instead of polarized political issues, we should care about the people affected by those issues. We should be focused on telling people about Jesus, because in the end, it's all about Him.

You might react, "But wait, isn't homosexuality wrong? Don't we have a responsibility to prevent that kind of behavior?" to which I'd reply, "I don't really care if homosexuality is right or wrong. I cannot show a non-Christian a Biblical moral standard and expect them to live by it. Jesus Christ works in the individual to transform behavior, but it is incredibly foolish on my part to throw individuals up against the standard presented in the Bible and expect them to change their ways. My Christian responsibility is to disciple people to Christ, and NOT to change them."

I am reminded of the lyrics of a song by Derrick Webb:


I’m so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

you can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you’d best beware
’cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill


In closing, remember that Jesus did not come to transform political arenas. He came to transform your heart.

An extended stay....at the hospital!

This past week, Rachel and I spent six nights and seven days in the hospital due to Rachel having gall bladder issues which led to surgery which led to pancreatitis. Here's a quick timeline of events:


Saturday, 7/7/12: Rachel started having some severe abdominal pains. This was the third time in the past two months Rachel felt this pain, and both previous times it went away in a few hours, and we tried treating it with heartburn medications. Rachel took heartburn medication again which did nothing to help, so she took some anti-gas medication, which did not help. She spent the entire night in agony.


Sunday, 7/8/12: Rachel spent the day on the couch. By mid-afternoon the pain was starting to subside, and as long as she didn't move she felt alright. That evening the pain was mostly gone.


Monday, 7/9/12: Rachel woke up without any pain. I headed off to work, and Rachel got back to her normal routine. She ate a burrito for lunch, and immediately the pain returned. It was so intense she could hardly think straight. She called me, and I asked her if she'd rather go to our family Dr., or the ER. She said the family Dr, and called in an emergency appointment. I went home and took her there, and she was told that she either was suffering from ulcers or gall bladder issues. The Dr recommended going to the ER for quicker tests and more immediate pain relief. We made it to the ER about 3PM and thankfully there wasn't anyone else waiting there, so we were seen immediately.

They ran some tests and did an ultrasound which made it very clear that Rachel needed her gall bladder removed. They were concerned that some of the gall stones had become lodged in her common bile duct, so they were going to run additional tests (including an MRI) the next day, and if there was any lodged there, they'd remove them before surgery.

Because they weren't sure when surgery would be done of if that procedure needed to be done, Rachel could not eat or drink anything until they had a better idea about what was going to happen.


Tuesday, 7/10/12: Discovered that the phrase, "the results are negative" is a positive thing. Rachel did not have any stones in her common bile duct so they scheduled her for surgery for the next morning. They said she could have liquids until Midnight. Rachel was very hungry, but was grateful to be able to drink some juice and eat a popsicle.

Wednesday, 7/11/12: Rachel went in for surgery to have her gall bladder removed at 7:45AM. She was squeezed into the surgery schedule first thing in the morning, for which we were very grateful. The surgery went very smoothly, but when she was taken back to her room, she began to feel an even more powerful pain in her stomach. To our dismay, the nurse who was assigned to her was very unsympathetic and practically told Rachel she was either exaggerating how much pain she was in or she had an incredibly low pain tolerance. We 'fired' that nurse and requested another, who did a much better job interacting with Rachel.

We were told the pain was from the surgery, and Rachel would feel much better the next morning.

Thursday, 7/12/12: The surgeon met with Rachel, and thought it very weird that Rachel was still in as much pain as Rachel was indicating. The surgeon also hinted that Rachel had a low pain tolerance, but decided to order a CT scan and some additional blood tests. The results of those showed that Rachel was suffering from pancreatitis. One of the things they tested for were her lipase levels, which is a chemical secreted by the pancreas. Normal levels are from 18-53, and Rachel's levels were at 2907! We found out later that what likely happened is that Rachel was passing another gall stone at the time of surgery. As the stone passed by the pancreas, it caused inflammation.

Pancreatitis is one of the most painful things to go through, and the surgeon apologized for insinuating Rachel wasn't in as much pain as she actually was. She also told us the treatment for pancreatitis is to simply fast. Not consuming anything gives the pancreas a chance to heal. This was the last thing Rachel wanted to hear since the last meal she ate was the little burrito on Monday!

Friday, 7/13/12: They drew blood, ran the tests, and said her lipase levels were down to about 1000. Still a long way to go, so we spent the day resting and waiting for the next day. Thankfully they gave Rachel control over her own pain medication through a PCA (Patient Controlled Analgesia), and she became much more comfortable after that.

Saturday, 7/14/12: They drew blood, ran the tests, and said her lipase levels were down to 260. They were much closer to where they needed to be, but we still couldn't go home yet. Rachel was feeling much better and spent very little time in bed. Most of the day was spent sitting on the couch and walking up and down the hallways. Rachel was allowed liquids late that morning and that afternoon she got to eat a popsicle.

Sunday, 7/15/12: They drew blood, ran the tests, and said her lipase levels were down to 180. Rachel relieved control of the PCA since she wasn't using it much any more anyway, and the Dr said she could eat some solid food. She ordered fruit for lunch and nibbled on it. She feared causing another flare-up and needing to stay longer. Thankfully that didn't happen and the nurses gathered her discharge paperwork together. We left the hospital around 2:30pm.

Some friends brought us dinner that night, and Denise (Rachel's mom who is here to help out) set up a candle-lit dinner for us since it was our 6-year anniversary. Rachel really enjoyed her first real meal in almost a week. Rachel was very happy to be able to enjoy her first real meal in almost a week!

We want to thank everyone who prayed us through this trying ordeal, the nurses and doctors who took such good care of Rachel, all our good friends who visited or stayed with Rachel or brought us meals, my parents for taking care of Isaac and Sonny while we were in the hospital, and Rachel's mom for flying out here to help out in so many ways. We thank Jesus Christ for giving us patience and emotional stability while we waited.

Forest Fires

Two days ago a forest fire started just West of Colorado Springs. I was in a softball tournament that day, and shortly after our second game started, I saw a small trickle of smoke rising to the West. My first thought was that a house was on fire, but as the game progressed and the trickle grew into a massive column of smoke, I knew the fire was on a much grander scale than what I had originally thought. It was also farther West than what I had originally thought, for which I am grateful.

So far, no structures have been lost, although thousands of acres of forest have been consumed by the raging inferno. But what is almost more disconcerting to me is the raging inferno going on in people's hearts as the rumors swirl about this fire (and others in the state) being intentionally started by an arsonist. A cry (rightfully so) is going out demanding Justice for this atrocity, but some people are taking it to an extreme. Some have demanded that those who started this fire be burned alive just so they know how it feels. Others have requested spending 15 minutes alone with them before dropping them down a mine....followed shortly by a stick of dynamite.

I believe this demand for Justice is an indicator of us being made in the image of God. God is Just, and when we see injustice, it is natural to feel the need to do something about it. But God is also Merciful, and it's very hard to show mercy when we feel so much pain and see so much damage. Personally, I find it hard to balance seeking Justice and extending Mercy. Assuming someone did start this fire (and the others around the state), I think they do need to be brought to Justice, and I take confidence in the knowledge they will one day meet Justice face-to-face and have to accept the consequences of their actions. But I am not the one to give them that Justice. In my anger and frustration, I would not be able to properly balance Justice and Mercy and give them the proper judgement.

And as I contemplate why they might have done this, I can only conclude that they have either been greatly deceived in how to best communicate their issues or that they are suffering from some mental or emotional sickness.

Again, assuming the cause was arson, I am praying

• The authorities find him/her quickly so as to not allow him/her to start any other fires
• That he/she would come to put their faith in Jesus Christ so as to not have to experience God's Justice
• That other people would realize that are just as sinful as this person is

One last thought.....the Bible tells us:

For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.
As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
(Proverbs 26:20-21)

Watch out that you don't start fires of your own by your gossip or quarreling.

my 'Sacred Pathway'

We're going though the book Sacred Pathways in one of our small groups. The book is about how there are different pathways on which it's easier for some people to worship God. The author elaborates on several of them and gives a small 'test' at the end of each chapter to see if that's one of your pathways. I scored a 28/30 on the Naturalist (one who connects to God easily by being out in nature). I wasn't really surprised by that, but I was digging through my office the other day and found a sheet of paper which confirmed it to me.

I went on a several day backpacking trip a couple years ago, and wrote this one evening:

I am surrounded by wildness and I feel at home.
The stream gurgling around me,
The tree at my back cradling me,
There is so much peace around me, I absorb it and am at peace.

I sat by a stream in a medow earlier and shared the area with two deer.
They watched me, I watched them.
I ignored them, they ignored me.
Harmony.

I imagine Adam sitting in a beautiful garden enjoying the wonder of God's creation and watch as two animals approach him. He looks at them and says, "You will be called 'deer.'" Thousands of years later, I sit here watching them, feeling akin to Adam.

I look up at the trees and feel so small. I am amazed that they grow here, not by the hand of any man, but by the hand of God. What is their purpose? Do they have one? Is it so that I would sit beneath them, ponder these questions and worship God?

Then the next day while taking a break:

I sit here on top of this ridge and again, I am in awe of God. I feel small, I could never even imagine a place like this let alone speak it into being. God, you are so awesome! Thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for giving me these friends and the opportunity to experience this.

It is so easy for me to feel close to God when I am surrounded by His creation. Other people find it easier when they are drowned out by loud music or flashing lights, in standing up for others or in caring for them, by having a structured worship service or by getting into a theological debate.

For me, it's separating myself from man's creation and immersing myself in God's creation.

Long Nights and Short Fuses

These past few weeks I have been learning a lot about myself. One of the more interesting things is how my personality has changed as a result of lack of sleep over an extended period of time.

Normally I would consider myself a very easy-going guy. I'm laid back and it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. My outlook on life is predominately jovial and I have a really long 'fuse.' I tend to be more extroverted than introverted, and really enjoy being around other people.

But after several weeks of reduced sleep, I would have to describe myself as grumpy. I constantly feel uptight, and it seems the littlest of things irritate me greatly. I have found things to be more black and white than shades of grey, and as a result, I am finding more faults in the people around me. I may not express it audibly, but I am snapping at people in my mind. I really have to be careful in the things I say and in how I say them. Interestingly enough, I'm tending to be more of an introvert than an extrovert now. Truth be told, I don't really want to be around other people. In fact, I've even started to just go sit in my car to eat my lunch, which I would not have dreamed of doing earlier. Instead of being open with people, I'm shutting them out.

And I hate being that way. I hate being grumpy. I hate being irritated at the people I'm surrounded by. I hate hearing myself berate others in my mind over things that really don't matter. And I hate not having the mental and emotional energy to beat down this ugly side of myself.

I am learning in new ways what it means to rely on Jesus for strength. Bible verses about 'waiting on the Lord,' 'serving with the strength God provides,' and 'doing all things through Christ,' are taking on a whole new meaning. It is only through His supernatural influence will I be able to rise above these circumstances and shine His light.

The Doughnut Man

I was reliving some childhood memories with a friend today, and in lieu of it being National Doughnut Day, I was reminded of a show we watched prolifically as kids. If you have never heard of "The Doughnut Man," then you'll want to watch the clip below.

The overarching concept is that we are like doughnuts. We have holes in our hearts which can only be filled with God's love. The Doughnut Man communicates this concept to children by having them help him fill the holes in the doughnuts with those little doughnut holes while singing cute little songs. The show is complete with songs, dancing, engaging stories, and a talking doughnut. But as I watched this clip, I was struck with how weird it was. Here is a grown man dressing up in pink overalls, dancing around with children, and having them join his 'club' to fix doughnuts....all in the name of Jesus.

Needless to say, this show isn't culturally relevant any longer, and I now realize that I really should haven any issues with shows like Barney or Spongebob-Squarepants considering what I watched (and loved) as a kid. In fact, if "The Doughnut Man" aired today, it would probably be promoting Gay Christianity. The times certainly have changed in the past 20 years!

Upon further consideration, I figured that if I watched shows like this growing up and turned out ok, then my kids stand a good chance of turning out ok too, despite what videos I have them watch. :)

Living without sleep

Let me start off by saying, "It's no wonder they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture."

I really wish I could apply the Eighth Amendment to having a newborn. Not being able to sleep through the night is certainly a cruel and unusual punishment. But, it can make for some funny stories.

The other night Rachel and I were enjoying a few hours of sleep, and I was dreaming that I was sitting in bed holding Isaac. It was one of those waking dreams where everything feels real, so when Rachel woke me up asking in a panicked voice, "Where's the baby!?!?" I freaked out. My lap was empty, and I couldn't feel him anywhere on the bed around me. In horror I looked over the side of the bed worried he had fallen onto the floor. I was getting frantic as I patted the blankets around me and could not find the baby!

I looked over at Rachel and she was doing the exact same thing - looking around on the bed with an extremely worried look on our face. We both turned up nothing and looked at each other for a minute. Then I jumped out of bed and looked in the crib where I found Isaac fast asleep.

Later that same night, the exact same thing happened again, but with me waking Rachel up asking where Isaac was. I had dreamed that she had him in bed, but when I woke up and looked around, I couldn't see him. This again led to a frantic search of the bed only to find him in his crib.

The next day we talked about what happened, and came to find out both of us had been dreaming he was in bed with us each time! So when we woke up and couldn't find him, we turned to the other and had our fears confirmed, that he was somewhere in the bed.

We laughed long and hard over what happened that night. Isaac is certainly living up to his name, bringing laughter into our home. I only wish it wasn't through fear and adrenaline.

(I had the same thing happen again last night. I hope it doesn't become a regular occurrence)

Never the same again

A couple of months ago, I wrote about an experience seeing a new father give his child his first bath. If you haven't read it and want to, here's the link. Well, a couple days ago, that was me giving my son his first bath.

To be honest, I didn't feel any different while giving him his bath, but in reality, I am a very different person now, and I'll never be the same again. It's hard for me to put into words what has changed - maybe in another couple of weeks it will be easier to explain - but I think it can be summed up in that I now bear the burden of an incredibly great responsibility.

I am responsible for the protection, provision, care, and development of another human being - a human being that I helped create. I have gained a new identity. I'm a Dad! My mind is still reeling from all the ramifications of it. My future now has a different direction - it's no longer just my and Rachel's future, but it's my family's future - a future I am responsible for.

I used to scoff at those who said that you're not really a family until you have kids. Logically, I argued that a married couple is a family, but now that I'm on the other side, I see it very differently. Yes, Rachel and I were a family prior to Isaac, but the word family carries a much stronger sentiment now that we have a child.

Anyway, my mind is whirling with all of the paradigm changes that are taking place. It's an exciting time to be sure! :)

Chick-fil-a Leadercast pt3

Last week I got to attend the Chick-fil-a Leadercast at one of their remote broadcast locations. There was a lot to absorb, so I'm trying to really focus in on just a couple of the lessons I learned. I wrote about the first and second lessons in previous posts. Here's the third lesson I walked away with:

Leadership requires trust, and trust empowers good people to greater innovation and creativity.

In just a few short years, Angela Ahrendts has transformed the company Burberry from being an old, stagnant company into the vibrant, expanding company it is today. She said that the 'cause' for her success was Trust. As a leader, when you delegate something, you have to trust they will accomplish the task. You also have to trust the input you receive from others regarding a decision. If Bob from Accounting says that a decision doesn't make fiscal sense, don't argue with him over it, trust him.

Of the lessons I've come away with, this one scares me the most. Trusting others requires vulnerability. It leaves unanswered the question, "What if.....?" But the truth is, people thrive under trust. I don't know how many times I've become frustrated over the years when I have to explain my reasons again and again to those around me. I just want to ask, "Do you trust me? If so, then trust me with this!" And I've listened to church congregations spend hours debating over trivial matters, and I just want to ask, "Do you trust the church leadership? If so, then trust them with this!"

Generally speaking, people are good-willed, meaning that destruction and mayhem is not their goal. People want the best results, and they want to contribute their best. Both of those will be met if you extend trust to them. Combine this with the lesson, "people will rise or fall to the expectations placed upon them," and you have a powerful one-two punch.

Of the lessons I heard at the Chick-fil-a Leadercast, this one is certainly the most nebulous. There are times when you need to follow up with someone, and trust is something that in some situations needs to be earned. But too often I find myself living under the adage, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." How freeing it is to allow others to do the task. It may not be done exactly the way I would have done it, but if it's done, what am I complaining about?