An extended stay....at the hospital!

This past week, Rachel and I spent six nights and seven days in the hospital due to Rachel having gall bladder issues which led to surgery which led to pancreatitis. Here's a quick timeline of events:


Saturday, 7/7/12: Rachel started having some severe abdominal pains. This was the third time in the past two months Rachel felt this pain, and both previous times it went away in a few hours, and we tried treating it with heartburn medications. Rachel took heartburn medication again which did nothing to help, so she took some anti-gas medication, which did not help. She spent the entire night in agony.


Sunday, 7/8/12: Rachel spent the day on the couch. By mid-afternoon the pain was starting to subside, and as long as she didn't move she felt alright. That evening the pain was mostly gone.


Monday, 7/9/12: Rachel woke up without any pain. I headed off to work, and Rachel got back to her normal routine. She ate a burrito for lunch, and immediately the pain returned. It was so intense she could hardly think straight. She called me, and I asked her if she'd rather go to our family Dr., or the ER. She said the family Dr, and called in an emergency appointment. I went home and took her there, and she was told that she either was suffering from ulcers or gall bladder issues. The Dr recommended going to the ER for quicker tests and more immediate pain relief. We made it to the ER about 3PM and thankfully there wasn't anyone else waiting there, so we were seen immediately.

They ran some tests and did an ultrasound which made it very clear that Rachel needed her gall bladder removed. They were concerned that some of the gall stones had become lodged in her common bile duct, so they were going to run additional tests (including an MRI) the next day, and if there was any lodged there, they'd remove them before surgery.

Because they weren't sure when surgery would be done of if that procedure needed to be done, Rachel could not eat or drink anything until they had a better idea about what was going to happen.


Tuesday, 7/10/12: Discovered that the phrase, "the results are negative" is a positive thing. Rachel did not have any stones in her common bile duct so they scheduled her for surgery for the next morning. They said she could have liquids until Midnight. Rachel was very hungry, but was grateful to be able to drink some juice and eat a popsicle.

Wednesday, 7/11/12: Rachel went in for surgery to have her gall bladder removed at 7:45AM. She was squeezed into the surgery schedule first thing in the morning, for which we were very grateful. The surgery went very smoothly, but when she was taken back to her room, she began to feel an even more powerful pain in her stomach. To our dismay, the nurse who was assigned to her was very unsympathetic and practically told Rachel she was either exaggerating how much pain she was in or she had an incredibly low pain tolerance. We 'fired' that nurse and requested another, who did a much better job interacting with Rachel.

We were told the pain was from the surgery, and Rachel would feel much better the next morning.

Thursday, 7/12/12: The surgeon met with Rachel, and thought it very weird that Rachel was still in as much pain as Rachel was indicating. The surgeon also hinted that Rachel had a low pain tolerance, but decided to order a CT scan and some additional blood tests. The results of those showed that Rachel was suffering from pancreatitis. One of the things they tested for were her lipase levels, which is a chemical secreted by the pancreas. Normal levels are from 18-53, and Rachel's levels were at 2907! We found out later that what likely happened is that Rachel was passing another gall stone at the time of surgery. As the stone passed by the pancreas, it caused inflammation.

Pancreatitis is one of the most painful things to go through, and the surgeon apologized for insinuating Rachel wasn't in as much pain as she actually was. She also told us the treatment for pancreatitis is to simply fast. Not consuming anything gives the pancreas a chance to heal. This was the last thing Rachel wanted to hear since the last meal she ate was the little burrito on Monday!

Friday, 7/13/12: They drew blood, ran the tests, and said her lipase levels were down to about 1000. Still a long way to go, so we spent the day resting and waiting for the next day. Thankfully they gave Rachel control over her own pain medication through a PCA (Patient Controlled Analgesia), and she became much more comfortable after that.

Saturday, 7/14/12: They drew blood, ran the tests, and said her lipase levels were down to 260. They were much closer to where they needed to be, but we still couldn't go home yet. Rachel was feeling much better and spent very little time in bed. Most of the day was spent sitting on the couch and walking up and down the hallways. Rachel was allowed liquids late that morning and that afternoon she got to eat a popsicle.

Sunday, 7/15/12: They drew blood, ran the tests, and said her lipase levels were down to 180. Rachel relieved control of the PCA since she wasn't using it much any more anyway, and the Dr said she could eat some solid food. She ordered fruit for lunch and nibbled on it. She feared causing another flare-up and needing to stay longer. Thankfully that didn't happen and the nurses gathered her discharge paperwork together. We left the hospital around 2:30pm.

Some friends brought us dinner that night, and Denise (Rachel's mom who is here to help out) set up a candle-lit dinner for us since it was our 6-year anniversary. Rachel really enjoyed her first real meal in almost a week. Rachel was very happy to be able to enjoy her first real meal in almost a week!

We want to thank everyone who prayed us through this trying ordeal, the nurses and doctors who took such good care of Rachel, all our good friends who visited or stayed with Rachel or brought us meals, my parents for taking care of Isaac and Sonny while we were in the hospital, and Rachel's mom for flying out here to help out in so many ways. We thank Jesus Christ for giving us patience and emotional stability while we waited.

Forest Fires

Two days ago a forest fire started just West of Colorado Springs. I was in a softball tournament that day, and shortly after our second game started, I saw a small trickle of smoke rising to the West. My first thought was that a house was on fire, but as the game progressed and the trickle grew into a massive column of smoke, I knew the fire was on a much grander scale than what I had originally thought. It was also farther West than what I had originally thought, for which I am grateful.

So far, no structures have been lost, although thousands of acres of forest have been consumed by the raging inferno. But what is almost more disconcerting to me is the raging inferno going on in people's hearts as the rumors swirl about this fire (and others in the state) being intentionally started by an arsonist. A cry (rightfully so) is going out demanding Justice for this atrocity, but some people are taking it to an extreme. Some have demanded that those who started this fire be burned alive just so they know how it feels. Others have requested spending 15 minutes alone with them before dropping them down a mine....followed shortly by a stick of dynamite.

I believe this demand for Justice is an indicator of us being made in the image of God. God is Just, and when we see injustice, it is natural to feel the need to do something about it. But God is also Merciful, and it's very hard to show mercy when we feel so much pain and see so much damage. Personally, I find it hard to balance seeking Justice and extending Mercy. Assuming someone did start this fire (and the others around the state), I think they do need to be brought to Justice, and I take confidence in the knowledge they will one day meet Justice face-to-face and have to accept the consequences of their actions. But I am not the one to give them that Justice. In my anger and frustration, I would not be able to properly balance Justice and Mercy and give them the proper judgement.

And as I contemplate why they might have done this, I can only conclude that they have either been greatly deceived in how to best communicate their issues or that they are suffering from some mental or emotional sickness.

Again, assuming the cause was arson, I am praying

• The authorities find him/her quickly so as to not allow him/her to start any other fires
• That he/she would come to put their faith in Jesus Christ so as to not have to experience God's Justice
• That other people would realize that are just as sinful as this person is

One last thought.....the Bible tells us:

For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.
As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
(Proverbs 26:20-21)

Watch out that you don't start fires of your own by your gossip or quarreling.

my 'Sacred Pathway'

We're going though the book Sacred Pathways in one of our small groups. The book is about how there are different pathways on which it's easier for some people to worship God. The author elaborates on several of them and gives a small 'test' at the end of each chapter to see if that's one of your pathways. I scored a 28/30 on the Naturalist (one who connects to God easily by being out in nature). I wasn't really surprised by that, but I was digging through my office the other day and found a sheet of paper which confirmed it to me.

I went on a several day backpacking trip a couple years ago, and wrote this one evening:

I am surrounded by wildness and I feel at home.
The stream gurgling around me,
The tree at my back cradling me,
There is so much peace around me, I absorb it and am at peace.

I sat by a stream in a medow earlier and shared the area with two deer.
They watched me, I watched them.
I ignored them, they ignored me.
Harmony.

I imagine Adam sitting in a beautiful garden enjoying the wonder of God's creation and watch as two animals approach him. He looks at them and says, "You will be called 'deer.'" Thousands of years later, I sit here watching them, feeling akin to Adam.

I look up at the trees and feel so small. I am amazed that they grow here, not by the hand of any man, but by the hand of God. What is their purpose? Do they have one? Is it so that I would sit beneath them, ponder these questions and worship God?

Then the next day while taking a break:

I sit here on top of this ridge and again, I am in awe of God. I feel small, I could never even imagine a place like this let alone speak it into being. God, you are so awesome! Thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for giving me these friends and the opportunity to experience this.

It is so easy for me to feel close to God when I am surrounded by His creation. Other people find it easier when they are drowned out by loud music or flashing lights, in standing up for others or in caring for them, by having a structured worship service or by getting into a theological debate.

For me, it's separating myself from man's creation and immersing myself in God's creation.

Long Nights and Short Fuses

These past few weeks I have been learning a lot about myself. One of the more interesting things is how my personality has changed as a result of lack of sleep over an extended period of time.

Normally I would consider myself a very easy-going guy. I'm laid back and it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. My outlook on life is predominately jovial and I have a really long 'fuse.' I tend to be more extroverted than introverted, and really enjoy being around other people.

But after several weeks of reduced sleep, I would have to describe myself as grumpy. I constantly feel uptight, and it seems the littlest of things irritate me greatly. I have found things to be more black and white than shades of grey, and as a result, I am finding more faults in the people around me. I may not express it audibly, but I am snapping at people in my mind. I really have to be careful in the things I say and in how I say them. Interestingly enough, I'm tending to be more of an introvert than an extrovert now. Truth be told, I don't really want to be around other people. In fact, I've even started to just go sit in my car to eat my lunch, which I would not have dreamed of doing earlier. Instead of being open with people, I'm shutting them out.

And I hate being that way. I hate being grumpy. I hate being irritated at the people I'm surrounded by. I hate hearing myself berate others in my mind over things that really don't matter. And I hate not having the mental and emotional energy to beat down this ugly side of myself.

I am learning in new ways what it means to rely on Jesus for strength. Bible verses about 'waiting on the Lord,' 'serving with the strength God provides,' and 'doing all things through Christ,' are taking on a whole new meaning. It is only through His supernatural influence will I be able to rise above these circumstances and shine His light.

The Doughnut Man

I was reliving some childhood memories with a friend today, and in lieu of it being National Doughnut Day, I was reminded of a show we watched prolifically as kids. If you have never heard of "The Doughnut Man," then you'll want to watch the clip below.

The overarching concept is that we are like doughnuts. We have holes in our hearts which can only be filled with God's love. The Doughnut Man communicates this concept to children by having them help him fill the holes in the doughnuts with those little doughnut holes while singing cute little songs. The show is complete with songs, dancing, engaging stories, and a talking doughnut. But as I watched this clip, I was struck with how weird it was. Here is a grown man dressing up in pink overalls, dancing around with children, and having them join his 'club' to fix doughnuts....all in the name of Jesus.

Needless to say, this show isn't culturally relevant any longer, and I now realize that I really should haven any issues with shows like Barney or Spongebob-Squarepants considering what I watched (and loved) as a kid. In fact, if "The Doughnut Man" aired today, it would probably be promoting Gay Christianity. The times certainly have changed in the past 20 years!

Upon further consideration, I figured that if I watched shows like this growing up and turned out ok, then my kids stand a good chance of turning out ok too, despite what videos I have them watch. :)

Living without sleep

Let me start off by saying, "It's no wonder they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture."

I really wish I could apply the Eighth Amendment to having a newborn. Not being able to sleep through the night is certainly a cruel and unusual punishment. But, it can make for some funny stories.

The other night Rachel and I were enjoying a few hours of sleep, and I was dreaming that I was sitting in bed holding Isaac. It was one of those waking dreams where everything feels real, so when Rachel woke me up asking in a panicked voice, "Where's the baby!?!?" I freaked out. My lap was empty, and I couldn't feel him anywhere on the bed around me. In horror I looked over the side of the bed worried he had fallen onto the floor. I was getting frantic as I patted the blankets around me and could not find the baby!

I looked over at Rachel and she was doing the exact same thing - looking around on the bed with an extremely worried look on our face. We both turned up nothing and looked at each other for a minute. Then I jumped out of bed and looked in the crib where I found Isaac fast asleep.

Later that same night, the exact same thing happened again, but with me waking Rachel up asking where Isaac was. I had dreamed that she had him in bed, but when I woke up and looked around, I couldn't see him. This again led to a frantic search of the bed only to find him in his crib.

The next day we talked about what happened, and came to find out both of us had been dreaming he was in bed with us each time! So when we woke up and couldn't find him, we turned to the other and had our fears confirmed, that he was somewhere in the bed.

We laughed long and hard over what happened that night. Isaac is certainly living up to his name, bringing laughter into our home. I only wish it wasn't through fear and adrenaline.

(I had the same thing happen again last night. I hope it doesn't become a regular occurrence)

Never the same again

A couple of months ago, I wrote about an experience seeing a new father give his child his first bath. If you haven't read it and want to, here's the link. Well, a couple days ago, that was me giving my son his first bath.

To be honest, I didn't feel any different while giving him his bath, but in reality, I am a very different person now, and I'll never be the same again. It's hard for me to put into words what has changed - maybe in another couple of weeks it will be easier to explain - but I think it can be summed up in that I now bear the burden of an incredibly great responsibility.

I am responsible for the protection, provision, care, and development of another human being - a human being that I helped create. I have gained a new identity. I'm a Dad! My mind is still reeling from all the ramifications of it. My future now has a different direction - it's no longer just my and Rachel's future, but it's my family's future - a future I am responsible for.

I used to scoff at those who said that you're not really a family until you have kids. Logically, I argued that a married couple is a family, but now that I'm on the other side, I see it very differently. Yes, Rachel and I were a family prior to Isaac, but the word family carries a much stronger sentiment now that we have a child.

Anyway, my mind is whirling with all of the paradigm changes that are taking place. It's an exciting time to be sure! :)

Chick-fil-a Leadercast pt3

Last week I got to attend the Chick-fil-a Leadercast at one of their remote broadcast locations. There was a lot to absorb, so I'm trying to really focus in on just a couple of the lessons I learned. I wrote about the first and second lessons in previous posts. Here's the third lesson I walked away with:

Leadership requires trust, and trust empowers good people to greater innovation and creativity.

In just a few short years, Angela Ahrendts has transformed the company Burberry from being an old, stagnant company into the vibrant, expanding company it is today. She said that the 'cause' for her success was Trust. As a leader, when you delegate something, you have to trust they will accomplish the task. You also have to trust the input you receive from others regarding a decision. If Bob from Accounting says that a decision doesn't make fiscal sense, don't argue with him over it, trust him.

Of the lessons I've come away with, this one scares me the most. Trusting others requires vulnerability. It leaves unanswered the question, "What if.....?" But the truth is, people thrive under trust. I don't know how many times I've become frustrated over the years when I have to explain my reasons again and again to those around me. I just want to ask, "Do you trust me? If so, then trust me with this!" And I've listened to church congregations spend hours debating over trivial matters, and I just want to ask, "Do you trust the church leadership? If so, then trust them with this!"

Generally speaking, people are good-willed, meaning that destruction and mayhem is not their goal. People want the best results, and they want to contribute their best. Both of those will be met if you extend trust to them. Combine this with the lesson, "people will rise or fall to the expectations placed upon them," and you have a powerful one-two punch.

Of the lessons I heard at the Chick-fil-a Leadercast, this one is certainly the most nebulous. There are times when you need to follow up with someone, and trust is something that in some situations needs to be earned. But too often I find myself living under the adage, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." How freeing it is to allow others to do the task. It may not be done exactly the way I would have done it, but if it's done, what am I complaining about?

Chick-fil-a Leadercast pt2

Last week I got to attend the Chick-fil-a Leadercast at one of their remote broadcast locations. There was a lot to absorb, so I'm trying to really focus in on just a couple of the lessons I learned. I wrote about the first lesson in a previous post. Here's the second lesson:

This year's Chick-fil-a Leadercast was focusing on choices, so the various speakers spoke on making choices, dealing with choices already made, and examples of choices they've made. Andy Stanley opened the conference talking about how to go about making the 'best' decision. He said there are three questions to add to our 'arsenal of decision-making questions:'

1) What would my replacement do?
     Andy did a great job explaining this question when he said, "This question immediately brings objectivity to the decision-making process." Sometimes we get wrapped up in the making a decision based upon what the supposed expectations are, or in the ways we've always made decisions. For instance, if I always were to answer 'yes' to a certain type of request, but my replacement would answer 'no,' why should I wait until I get replaced for the answer to be 'no'? 

2) What would a great leader do?
      If Abraham Lincoln or Benjamin Franklin were here in my shoes, facing this decision, what would they decide? Trying to take the perspective of a leader you admire and look up to helps to "eliminate self-imposed expectations and limitations. This question will reveal to you the chance to become a great leader." Often times, our decision making process is tainted by selfish desires, conscious or not. The heroes we look up to are heroes because they make selfless decisions. Would Superman put in an extra hour at The Daily Planet or would he go home to his kids (assuming of course he had kids)?

3) What story do I want to tell?
     Despite how glamorous and immediate a big decision may be, "every decision you make will end up being nothing more than a part of a story you tell." We all have a story to tell, and our story is comprised of the decisions we made to get us to where we are. Think through the decision and ask yourself, "Do I really want this to be a part of my story?" Andy made a hard-hitting point, "Don't choose anything that will make you a liar for life." We have an idea of what we want our story to be, but sometimes the decisions we make go contrary to that desire, and the temptation is to cover up the decision to make the story fit better. Don't start lying your way through life, instead make a decision you want in your story.

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If you were to look at an org-chart, I'm pretty low on the totem pole, but these three questions are applicable to even me. Even if I don't make business decisions for my organization, I do make decisions about my life and my family. These questions will help me become a great leader of myself and my family.

Chick-fil-a Leadercast pt1

Last week I had the privilege of attending one of the remote broadcast locations for the Chick-fil-a Leadercast. It was an incredible time, and I heard many great truths about leadership, how to make good choice, and how to deal with the choice we make. John Maxwell, one of the speakers, stated it well, "We make a decision, then manage that decision the rest of our lives."

I got to hear wisdom from some people who's names I recognized: Tim Tebow, John Maxwell, Pat Lencioni, Andy Stanley. I also heard from people who's names I didn't recognize: Urban Meyer, Angela Ahrendts, Marcus Buckingham, Soledad O'Brien, Roland Fryer, Sheena Iyengar.

Trying to absorb all of what was spoken is like sitting in a bathtub and trying to absorb all the water from the tub. You're not going to get it all. The key is to find one or two things that really resonated with you and focus on those. Here are the two or three things I'm taking away from the conference:

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1) How to improve learning
        Dr Roland Fryer spoke about the decay of our educational system, especially as it pertains to minority groups. As an economist, he looks at the data, and the data is horrifying to behold. Out of the countries of the world, the United States of America invests the 4th highest amount into its country's educational system, but it ranks around 20th educationally. Stop and ponder how horrible that is. A ray of hope is some data from a few small areas of the country where the educational scores are through the roof. Those areas implement 5 key principles into their educational systems, and the proof is in the pudding. The heartbreaking problem is that other areas of the countries aren't willing to implement these principles. The leadership lesson here is that sometimes "We know what we need to do. Do we have the leadership and courage to get it done?"

The five principles are:
         1) Increase time spent studying
         2) Choose good teachers
         3) Get prompt feedback and make necessary adjustments
         4) Utilize small focus groups
         5) Have high expectations

These principles apply to how I can increase my learning as well as how the American Educational System can improve. If I want to learn something better, I need to spend more time studying it. I need to choose good sources of information for what I'm learning, and I need to have some way to evaluate my progress quickly. It would also be good to learn together with a few others, and most importantly, maintain high expectations. "People, especially children, will rise or fall to the expectations placed upon them."

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Since this went a bit long, I'll post my other take-aways over the next couple of days.