The River (book review)

The River, by Michael Neale, is not only the story of a young man dealing with the ghosts of his past, it's also a story about him finding his life's calling and embracing his destiny.

As a boy living in the mountains of Colorado, Gabriel Clarke watched his father sacrifice himself to The River to save another man's life. Heroic though the action may have been, from his 5-year-old perspective, Gabriel's father abandoned him. After that, Gabriel moved to Kansas to live with his mother.

The following years spent on the farm were simple and horrible. Gabriel, not able to escape the pain and the loss, struggled to make it through each day. By the time he turned twelve, he still had an incredible fear of water, and it was only through the gift of a fishing rod that he was able to re-encounter The River in a healing way.

As a young adult, he gets pulled away from Kansas by some friends to go camping in Colorado. There he has a supernatural experience with The River which replaces much of his fear with awe. He goes white-water rafting and feels himself come alive. That camping trip was too short so he later returns to Colorado to spend the summer working at the white-water rafting camp. There he learns much about his past and has an encounter that, depending on how he handles it, will change the course of his life forever.

While I found this book to be entertaining, there were many instances which pointed to the author's inexperience as a writer. For instance, the story is told to us by someone who meets Gabriel Clarke in an airport. Gabriel tells the narrator his story, who then shares Gabriel's story to us "as he told it to me." I would expect it to then be written from Gabriel's perspective (as it would have been originally told to the narrator). Instead, it was written in third person narration. Either Gabriel is one strange duck who narrates his own life, or the author made a big oopsie.

In addition, the dialogue and story line were very simply written and stated many of the characteristics of the various characters instead of showing them. For instance, we are told that Gabriel has 'hard days' and 'easy days' as a child, but we never really know what that means. We are told that on a 'hard day' he retreats to a secret place in his mind, but we are never allowed to join him there. (Another indicator that the story is not really being told "as he told it to me")

All in all, I'd give the book 3/5 stars, which reflects more of my appreciation of the way Colorado, mountains, and rivers are portrayed than it does for the story itself. I will say this though - I was on the brink of tears the last couple chapters of the book. It's an emotional tale that I did connect to...especially toward the end.

I received a copy of this book from the publishing company and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed here are my own.

If We Survive (Book Review)

I read Andrew Klavan's Crazy Dangerous a while back, so I came into If We Survive with some expectations regarding pace, prose, etc. I was not disappointed. This was a very fun, very fast read, which follows a group of kids through the jungles of Costa Verdes, dodging bullets, poisonous snakes, and raging rapids in an attempt to escape with their very lives. 

The main character is Will Peterson, a 'normal' 16-year-old who wants to be a hero. He went on a missions-trip/school project to Costa Verdes to help rebuild a school, and minutes before they leave the country, a revolution breaks out. Because of their being Americans, and because they tick one of the leaders off, they are set to be executed. They narrowly escape, and it's a run for their lives for the border.

In the midst of a gripping tale, Andrew Klavan manages to weave in some complex ideas.....ideas like how to cope with killing someone in battle, the discrepancy between what we read and what really is happening in other parts of the world, and questions like "am I so very different from murderous revolutionaries?" or "what does it mean to be a hero?"

Needless to say, I would highly recommend this book. 

I received a copy of this book from the publishing company and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed here are my own.

Me? a Leader?

Sometimes you hear something a number of times, but it's not until it's said a certain way that everything all of a sudden becomes clear. The connection between me and being a 'leader' finally clicked for me.

I was sharing with a friend how I often feel pressure to step up and be a 'leader.' People have frequently told me I'm a natural leader, but I've never understood that. I don't have the type of personality or drive to be a leader, and while I understand that anyone who has influence in the life of another is a leader, it just never seemed to hit home with me. But in one moment, my friend made everything seem clear. He said, "There's a difference between a business leader and a people leader. You are a people leader."

Upon reflection, I can see that I have been told that a number of times in a number of different ways, but it wasn't until that moment that I suddenly felt a freedom to embrace my leadership qualities and responsibilities. I can lead people....I can't lead a business.

I think there has been an underlying fear that if I became a 'leader,' I'd have to figure out how to run a department, business, or organization. I don't want to do that. I have no desire to rise in the ranks. I have no dreams of being the head honcho. I am perfectly happy in my placement on the org chart. So when I received pressure to become a 'leader,' I understood it to mean that I needed to change what makes me who I am.

But now that the lightbulb has turned on, I understand that I don't need to change who I am to be a leader. But I do need to maintain a greater awareness of how and where I am leading people. For instance, I have the ability to either incite mutiny or foster teamwork in my workplace. While this is definitely a heavy responsibility, it's really just paying closer attention to something I do naturally anyway.

Here's to friends who turn the lightbulbs on for us! :D

The LORD Provides

Earlier this week I was pondering the story of Abraham almost killing his son, Isaac. God told Abraham to do it and waited to the last minute to stop him from following through with it in order to test him. One thing that stood out to me was that after all was said and done, Abraham named that location 'The LORD Provides." It struck me that he didn't name it "The LORD Tests." I think it's safe to say Abraham was an optimist. :D

This evening I had my own "The LORD Provides" moment: I was leaving work, and just as I was getting ready to turn onto the street, I saw some sort of case lying in the gutter. I got out, picked it up, climbed back in my car, opened it, and saw that it was a practically-complete socket/wrench set! 

The socket set I have is old and cheap, so I have been wanting a new socket set for a long time. But I never seemed to have the funds to buy it. Tonight, the Lord dropped it in my lap - and not only a socket set, but the exact one I've been eyeing at Walmart! 

I examined it closely to see if there were any identifying marks on it, and even looked in the local Craigslist Lost&Found, but I don't have a clue who it might have belonged to, or how it ended up in the gutter.

I don't think it's a coincidence that on Monday I was exploring the concept of God's provision, and on Friday I had a first-hand experience with it. As Rachel and I work through supporters dropping off and our support needs increasing, this is a timely reminder that God is our Provider.

Recent Trip to Spain

I recently got back from a nine-day trip to Spain for work, and toward the end of the trip, I was asked if I had experienced any major surprises on the trip. I responded that there were a lot of little paradigm shifts, but nothing major. Upon further consideration, I realize that all of the little things really do add up. I won't take the time to go into everything, but these are a couple of the 'bigger' things:

To begin with, I was quite humbled by my interaction with the people there. The only other times I have traveled overseas, it was to a second or third-world country where I and what I brought were obviously very needed. On those trips, I was, in a sense, enlightening the people with whom I interacted. On this recent trip to Spain, which is a first-world country, I quickly understood that those I was interacting with were very much peers, and I had as much to learn from them as they might learn from me. I really didn't realize the pride I had in my knowledge until I found myself asking them for advice and recognizing the wisdom in what they were sharing.

I also found confirmation that I am an introvert. I love being around other people, interacting with them, going to parties, etc, and as a result, I often wonder if I'm more of an extrovert than an introvert. But being forced into an environment where I wasn't comfortable, I felt myself fighting a tendency to withdraw. I spent time there in self-evaluation, and that tendency, along with a few other things, led me to the conclusion that I, at my core, am an introvert. This realization didn't necessarily surprise me, but I am still figuring out the ramifications of it.

There are other mental-shifts that happened while I was there, but these are the two which most readily came to mind. As everything continues to sink in, I'm sure other things will surface, but for now, these have risen to the top.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After reading back through this, I see that I haven't written this very eloquently, and it may be hard to follow, but I've found that it's very hard for me to verbalize my emotions and describe the way I view the world. If you would like me to elaborate or explain further anything I've written, let me know. Thanks!

David and the Old Man (Book Review)

David and the Old Man is the tale of William Zemba (the author) and his family. Specifically, the story is about growing up with his brother, David, and watching his interactions with their father.

Their father, referred to in the book as the Old Man, grew up on a farm, and when he established his own home, continued to grow fresh produce in his prized garden. The Zemba family revolved around the growing, cooking, eating, and enjoyment of the bountiful harvest, so when David refused to eat anything, it was met with incredulity, shock, and frustration.

David became anorexic. Because of the harsh control of the Old Man, David grabbed control over a small part of his life, namely his eating habits. Then he lost control, and anorexia started controlling him.

David's anorexia came close to tearing their family apart and almost killed his mother and himself. Then an incredible thing happened....they were saved by Jesus Christ. He not only saved their souls, he saved their lives too.

David and the Old Man is a glimpse into the redeeming work that Jesus Christ can do in a life. It's a glimpse into what living with an anorexic is like as well. William pulls the reader into the story as if they are actually there witnessing the events as they unfold, and after reading this book, I feel like I know the Zemba family.

The author has much to learn about writing, but his format is raw and honest. The actual story ended about 2/3rds of the way through the book, and the rest was reflections from himself, his sisters, and his anorexic brother. The message of hope, redemption, and masculine responsibility are dumped on you at the end in a way where upon thinking back over the story, it all makes sense!

I would recommend this book for anyone curious about anorexia, wondering if Jesus can really change lives, or those who want to experience the power of a father's role in a child's life.


I received a copy of this book from the publishing company and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed here are my own.

There and Back Again: a hobbit's tale

I am sure that my readers are well aware of what a hobbit is, but for those of you who don't, they are creatures which look like humans in a much smaller scale. In addition to their small stature, they possess an amazing appetite which allows them to consume a full meal every two hours with a snack between. Now you must understand that hobbits are creatures which prefer the quiet lifestyle. A typical day in the life of a hobbit is waking up, eating, getting some work done, eating again, napping, playing, eating, playing, eating, napping, playing, eating, and so on until night has come and it is time for a midnight snack then off to bed. They like this quiet lifestyle which is free from danger and absent of adventures.

With this understanding in mind, let me introduce you to Chris, your typical hobbit. His tale begins almost two months ago. One fateful day while he was eating a yummy PB&J right before his mid-morning nap, there was a knock on his door. Wiping the crumbs from his mouth, he got up, walked over to, and opened it to find a very tall man looking down at him. "Are you Chris?" the man boomed.

With jaw dropping and knees quivering, the little hobbit replied, "gulp.....yee..ss.?"

"Chris, I want you to go on an Adventure with me. Off in a distant land there is a dragon which lives at the top of a mountain and makes the best doughnuts. I want these doughnuts, and I am sure you want them too. Will you go with me?"

After a long pause, the man offered Chris a napkin to wipe off the drool running down his chin. Awakening from his fantasy, the timid hobbit replied, "Doughunts! Yes! I'll go with you, but.....what's a mountain?"

"You will see. I will return at 5AM tomorrow to help get you in shape for the journey. Goodbye!" and with that, the man was gone. Chris watched him go wondering who he was, for he was a very good looking man, then he called the oldest hobbit he knew to ask when 5AM was. His nap came early that morning when he fainted at the information.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next several weeks, Chris was forced to do things he never dreamed of. He had to wake up earlier and earlier to walk a steep trail around and around. He didn't know why he was doing this, and the only information given to him was that there were doughnuts waiting at the top of this mountain. Sometimes a faun would join them on these walks, and the hobbit never tired of staring at the half-man, half-goat named Ron.

Then one day, the man told Chris, "You are ready. We will depart for the mountain in two days. Get some rest. It's a long hike."

"Longer than what we've done?" he asked in a panicked voice.

"Yes, much longer. Get some rest. We leave before dawn."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The morning came much too early for the little hobbit who was very tired of all the training he'd been through, but he had just had a wonderful dream about doughnuts so he got out of bed, put his gear into his pack, which was almost as big as he was, and set out to meet the man and the faun at the base of the mountain.

An interesting side-note is that the mode of transportation hobbits use is actually fueled by ice. Chris' vehicle was no exception. Hobbits are used to the frigid temperatures within their vehicles, and the man was amazed that Chris wasn't shivering in the cold as he was. Chris turned on the heat for him, but it only blew out cold air. Hobbits are weird. End of side-note, now back to the story.

The motley crew consisting of a hobbit, a faun, and a good-looking man set out on the trail to the top of the mountain. Chris, with his enormous pack, fell into pace between Ron and the man. They trekked for a whole twenty minutes when Chris just couldn't go any farther. It was time for his mid-morning nap, so he laid down in the trail, kicked off his shoes, and promptly fell asleep. The man and the faun looked at him for a moment incredulously then woke him up saying there was a looong way to go and he could rest later. They were thankful the few seconds of sleep he got was enough to energize him and he woke with a smile.

first nap of the day

It was another 30 minutes later when Chris stopped and saw an amazing sight. He looked up at the man beside him and asked what it was. Smiling gently, the man replied, "It's a sunrise." Chris stared in wonder as it was the first sunrise any hobbit had ever seen, for they naturally sleep well past it.

The sun rose quickly and the trail broke free from the trees for a moment. Off in the distance something rose about the trees. The man explained it was the mountain they were climbing. "But it's so far!" Chris wailed. The man consoled him by once again describing the doughnuts waiting for him at the top.

Are we there yet?

The hobbit pushed himself so hard, but after only one more hour, he had to take a break. He found a nice looking rock and plopped down, not to be moved. The faun thought the little guy looked so comical sitting there, he had to take a picture.

(notice the size difference between a hobbit and a faun)

After a short break, they set out again, but it didn't take long before everyone started hearing a rumbling sound. At first they thought of bears, but it ended up being Chris' hungry tummy. He opened up his massive pack and started pulling out food. It was now evident why he brought such a big pack. A nearby sign summed up his enormous appetite.

The sign was only knee-high to an averaged sized human

After the meal was over, they set out once again, trying to make up for lost time, while making frequent stops for the tired little hobbit.

another rest-break

Our fearless faun leader

you guessed it - another break

Are we there yet?

Only three miles to go? That means we've walked 10 miles!

The faun got on his knees to see the world through a hobbit's eyes.

Just keep going, just keep going!

Chris taking a break and enjoying the view

"These rocks are nothing for a half-man-half-goat!"

Chris looks big, but Ron is far away.

Another break, of a different sort. Turns out hobbits are a bit shy.

Chris standing on a rock

By this time, they could hear the dragon bellow a couple times every once in a while signalling to the world its presence. A wee little girl and her father were also daring the climb to the summit and were gaining on the trio. Emboldened by her bravery (and desiring to not let the little girl pass them), they set out at a slightly quicker pace. This lasted for all of three minutes which is when the hobbit ran out of steam. The other two tried encouraging him by explaining there were only 16 stairs to go. This perked him up considerably.

Yet another break only 16 stairs from the summit

Three 'stairs' into it, he realized the joke was on him. Each stair involved traversing the boulder field only to switch back and traverse it again....sixteen times. But he stuck with it and was proud of his accomplishment when he stood on the summit.

Made it to the top!

After enjoying their accomplishment, they went inside the shelter to get some refreshments. They ran over to the doughnut counter and were flabbergasted to see the prices the dragon charged. "No wonder the dragon has so much gold!" Ron quipped. Instead of spending their few coins on doughnuts, they waiting a long time to get a piece of meat from the cow slowly rotating on its spit above the fire. They also got some potatoes boiled in hot oil, which were quite satisfying.

The dragon at rest

They rested a little while longer, enjoying the warm fire while the snowstorm raged outside. Then without a word and only a glance, they filled their canteens and headed back home.

Ron asked Chris, "Do you think you can make it back down?"

One last look before descending the mountain

The trip home was much quieter, and there were fewer stops. The hobbit had a lot to think about as he digested his Adventure. It was hard, it was long, but he felt a new emotion bubbling up within him. It was pride. He had done something no other hobbit had. He had climbed a mountain! The thing that had driven him there, namely the doughnuts, were yet to be tasted, but strangely enough, he didn't mind. Those doughnuts would wait for another day....another Adventure.

The man, the faun, and the hobbit (standing on a stool)

Training

Four weeks ago I decided to hike Pikes Peak with two friends. The route we chose to take was equivalent to a marathon, 26.2 miles roundtrip. Knowing I needed to get in shape for the hike, I tried running the 3-mile loop we found near our house. I didn't make it. I ended up walking most of the way. That day was a major wake-up call to where I was at physically. If I was going to hike 26 miles and climb 7500 feet in elevation, I was going to need to shape up!

This morning, four days before the hike, I ran 6 miles in under an hour. It's nothing to really brag about, but it shows how far I've come. I went from not even being able to run one mile to running six and knowing I could keep going! But like most major changes, this did not occur overnight.

• The first thing I needed was a goal to strive for - a vision to grab onto. In this case, it was a long, intense hike. Most people who hike this trail only go one-way. They usually get a ride back down the mountain. Hiking one-way would be intense, but I needed the challenge of going both directions.

• The second thing I needed was accountability. In this case, it was two other guys who also needed to get in shape. Of the three of us, I had the farthest to go though. One of the guys has been climbing mountains his whole life and this summer spent almost every weekend out on the trails. The other guy has also hiked a number of mountains this summer in addition to swimming and training for a half-marathon. As for me? I played slow-pitch softball this summer....not the most intense activity that's for sure!
• These guys made sure I kept at it. Whether it was a discussion at work or a text asking what I was doing, I couldn't have kept my motivation without their help. And it went the other way too! The only time I could consistently do any trail mileage was before work, so I was hitting the trail (and often dragging the guys with me) at 6am, 5am, even 4am!

• And the third thing I needed was to celebrate my progress. I needed someway of tracking my progress. I pushed myself to go farther faster, and it paid off. A couple weeks ago I tried a new trail and expected it to take me about 45-60 minutes to reach the summit of a small mountain, but it only took 30! I was at the top of Red Mountain not even out of breath, disappointed I didn't have farther to go. Last week I hiked almost 11 miles in less than 3 hours, and this morning I ran 6 miles in under an hour.

I'll let you know how the actual hike goes, but the training for it has been incredible. I have hiked more in the past four weeks than I have in the past year. I have tried new trails, explored new areas, and set new personal records.

As I think about doing anything worthwhile, those three things I mentioned are vitally important:

1. Have a goal to strive for - a vision to grab onto
2. Find some accountability
3. Celebrate your progress

Is there anything worthwhile you're wanting to do?

Early morning hike

4:15AM - My alarm went off. I hit snooze once, then roll out of bed when it goes off again. In my drowsiness, I get dressed, make a sandwich for lunch, grab my bags, and head out the door. I marvel that all the lights are green for me as I drive to my office building.

4:47AM - I get to the office and am disappointed that I was the only car in the parking lot. Neither Ron nor Chris, the two guys who were going to hike with me, are there yet. I take my laptop into the office and leave it there for safekeeping. I climb back in my car and try not to fall asleep.

4:57AM - My phone rings. It's one of the guys, Chris, calling to say he overslept and wouldn't be joining us. After hanging up with him I call the other guy, Ron, to see if he was on his way. He confirms it and pulls in next to me minutes later. I jump in the car with him and we drive off, both of us commenting on how great coffee would be just then.

5:22AM - We turn on our headlamps and start up the trail. Ron leads at first but after a few minutes lets me pass. Because of my long legs and our needing to train for a long hike next month, I set a very quick pace and we fly up the trail. My eyes don't leave the little circle of light on the trail so I won't trip over anything, but we occasionally look over our shoulders and see the lights of Colorado Springs glimmering below us. It is beautiful, but we don't have time to stop. We have to keep moving. Soon it becomes light enough to turn off our lamps. My eyes play tricks on me with the rocks but we maintain our quick pace.

6:00AM - We reach the summit, and take a moment to catch our breaths. Ron tells me that this was the fastest he's ever gone on this trail. Normally it takes him more than an hour to come this far, and it's only been 38 minutes. The sun hasn't made it above the horizon yet, but it's getting close. My eyes go back to the trail and we continue our rapid pace, grateful that it the next four miles are all down hill.

6:15AM - I look to my left and see the sun. It is an amazing sunrise, and we take a few moments to absorb the beauty of it. I snap a quick picture, and it's back to the trail again.

We aren't breathing nearly as hard since we're going downhill so we talk about a wide variety of topics: our spouses, refinancing, camping, hiking, and saving for vacations to name a few. The day is getting brighter and brighter, and we pause to let a runner pass us. As we get closer to end of the trail, we are amazed at how quickly we hiked it. We talk of how we could do it faster and what sort of time-goal to set for the next time. Thirty minutes to the top and an hour back down sound about right.

7:08AM - We arrive back at the car. We had just traversed 5.3 miles in an hour and forty-five minutes. We went thirty minutes faster than we had expected, so we decide to stop at Starbucks to get our coffee before going to work. All I can think about is, "Let's do that again!"

Christians and Conservatives

I know it’s been a couple of weeks since the whole eat-at-Chick-Fil-A-to-show-you-support-them thing, which for a lot of people was really an eat-at-Chick-Fil-A-to-show-you’re-anti-gay thing. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the whole ‘gay’ situation in America, and a couple of things bother me:

1) Conservatives who blame their view on what the Bible says
2) Christians who react to current events out of their Conservative perspective.


Hear me out – ‘Christian’ does NOT equal ‘Conservative,’ and ‘Conservative'  does NOT equal ‘Christian.' They will often times go hand in hand, but they are not synonymous, and it's foolish to act like they are. Doing so will ultimately give Christianity a bad name and hinder the Gospel.

As a Conservative, you would probably vote against gay marriages (or any other gay agenda), but don't say it's because the Bible told you so. The Bible also speaks against drunkenness, substance abuse, sex outside of marriage, the sanctity of life, fiscal responsibility, caring for the poor, orphans, and widows, and a host of other things. But some of these topics have become social 'norm' so most Conservatives don't speak up about them nor do they seem to even care about them. Conservatism is a political view and will only rise up when there is a political issue at stake. The problem is that most people confuse a political issue with a moral issue. Conservatives need to think about the political issues with the perspective of "What are the costs/benefits of this issue for the USA?" and not "Is this issue right or wrong?"

Christianity, not Conservatism, deals with moral issues. Is gay marriage right? Is abortion wrong? Would it be right to legalize marijuana? and does it matter whether it is right or wrong? It may be true that the USA was founded on Christian principles, but we are far from being a Christian nation, so let's not pretend we are. Instead of polarized political issues, we should care about the people affected by those issues. We should be focused on telling people about Jesus, because in the end, it's all about Him.

You might react, "But wait, isn't homosexuality wrong? Don't we have a responsibility to prevent that kind of behavior?" to which I'd reply, "I don't really care if homosexuality is right or wrong. I cannot show a non-Christian a Biblical moral standard and expect them to live by it. Jesus Christ works in the individual to transform behavior, but it is incredibly foolish on my part to throw individuals up against the standard presented in the Bible and expect them to change their ways. My Christian responsibility is to disciple people to Christ, and NOT to change them."

I am reminded of the lyrics of a song by Derrick Webb:


I’m so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

you can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you’d best beware
’cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill


In closing, remember that Jesus did not come to transform political arenas. He came to transform your heart.